Saturday, June 23, 2007
i know what hell is gonna be like.... Current mood: crappy
it's lionel richie on a fuzzy intercom speaker
it's toting 38 swimsuits i am attempting to fit into a tiny closet
it's flashbacking to a 20/20 espose i saw on hidden cameras in the ceiling of dressing rooms
it's trying to balance my shirt across my body while quickly pulling up the bottoms and spinning around in circles so i create a blur.......so that the sweaty nerd in the control room using said camera can't see it ALL
it's getting to number 24 of 38 and coming to the conclusion that i am fatter than was previously believed
it's hearing the 18 year old next to me start to cry to her mom because she is fat....a fat size 3! Yes DAMNIT i said 3! Oh, my god......is it against the law to strangle someone with a spaghetti strap from a bikini top?
It's choosing a top too small and a bottom too big thengoing back to the rack to find the same suit only with a top too big and a bottom too big
It's realizing that the only thing separating my boobs from touching my waist is....apparently nothing!
did i mention the f n lionel richie is blaring ......"still NOT dancin on the ceiling a hole"
it's dirty carpet. yuck....seriously the most discusting germ infested stuff with tags that someone yanked off of clothing they stole, blue industrial with stains...i was teetering between walking the highwire of one leg thru, now balance on top of shoe, now other leg thru, now put the shoes on turn around, take a look...................
and run screaming out of department store
that is what i invision hell being like. anyone with me on this?
final result is an old lady suit that covers all important areas tankini with a skirt. who new it would ever come to this? a skirt people! I have to have a damn swimsuit with a skirt!
hell is paying 50 bucks for this sadistic seasonal bullshit
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